


...after a small rejection

by BriMac0518



Series: The Arcana - 50 Kisses [31]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:22:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21774388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BriMac0518/pseuds/BriMac0518
Summary: Julian wants something that Asra just can't give to him.
Relationships: Asra/Julian Devorak, mentions of past Asra/Apprentice
Series: The Arcana - 50 Kisses [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1531607
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	...after a small rejection

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, this isn't really a small rejection, but this idea demanded to be written so here we are. Go big or go home, I guess. Sorry for the angst! Let me know what you think. :)
> 
> PLEASE NOTE: Do not repost my work anywhere. I do not give my permission.

Bodies writhed in pleasure, the sounds of moans and cries filling the room. The two men on the bed lost themselves in each other, one clutching his partner out of love and need, the other to forget the horrors of his past. Hearts raced, nails dug into skin, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh filling the room until a loud cry escaped followed by a shuddering groan as both reached completion at last.

Julian was left panting and flushed beneath Asra, skin slick with sweat. His grey eyes peered up at Asra like the magician was the center of the universe. A smile curled his lips and he felt as if he were on top of the world. Stolen moments like this with Asra had become rare, so Julian treasured every last one of them. He couldn't help pulling Asra in for a kiss.

The magician went willingly, still trying to catch his breath. He returned the kiss Julian bestowed, but he froze, tensing in the doctor's embrace when Julian's whispered words reached his ears.

"I love you," the redheaded man said, his hand coming up to caress Asra's cheek. His smile remained, fingers drifting through snow white strands of his lover's hair in a sweet gesture, but it all caused a ball of ice to form in the pit of Asra's stomach.

He didn't want to see the smile fade when he couldn't bring himself to say the words back. He didn't feel the same way. Julian was just an escape to Asra. A way to forget about the ache that lingered in his heart constantly. He sat up silently and moved to retrieve his clothes.

"…Asra?" Julian's voice was quiet from behind him as Asra got his pants back on. "Did…you hear me?" The hesitance and uncertainty made Asra feel guilty, but it didn't change that Julian just didn't have his heart.

"Yes, Ilya. I did," he replied honestly as he reached for his shirt. He pulled the garment over his head, then brushed his hair back from his face once the shirt settled into place over his shoulders.

"Oh…" Julian was quiet for a moment, attempting to figure out what he should say in response to that. He cleared his throat before trying. "Ah, what uh… what do you think?"

Once his sandals were back on his feet, Asra breathed a deep sigh, knowing he had to be honest with the other man. He stood where he was, a few steps away from Julian's bed, his purple eyes lingering on the doctor's face. There was only apprehension in Julian's grey eyes.

"Ilya. I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way. I know what you want from me and I can't give it to you." It wasn't easy breaking someone's heart and Asra tried to tell himself it was for Julian's own good no matter how much of an asshole he felt like for hurting him.

"I see." Julian looked down, a deep blush staining his fair skin. "Well, just-…" He breathed a quiet sigh, shook his head. "Just forget I said anything then, I suppose. It doesn't matter."

Asra glanced down as well, feeling guilt adding itself to the lingering sadness that was an ever present companion. He ran a hand through his hair. "Do you want to keep doing this?" He was referring to their stolen moments together where they sought relief and escape in each other's arms, all too frequently as the real world became more and more stressful.

"Is that all that you can give me?" Asra heard Julian's quiet words and looked up at him, meeting his gaze steadily.

"Yes," he replied, knowing he had to keep being honest. "I'm sorry, Ilya. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but it's all I've got."

"Then I'll take it," Julian replied, mustering up a faint smile that didn't reach his eyes. He shifted to sit up in the bed, the sheet over his lap. "So, ah. I suppose I'll see you tomorrow then."

Asra nodded after a moment. He stepped up to the bed and pressed a gentle kiss to Julian's cheek. It was a goodbye as well as an apology all in one. "See you tomorrow."

Neither of them could look at each other as Asra turned to take his leave, his footsteps receding down the hall as he made his way to the front door to let himself out. He hated having to hurt his friend, but his heart already belonged to someone else. An apprentice that had stolen his heart almost immediately at a masquerade years ago. An apprentice he would never see again.

Well. If his plan didn't work out anyway. But Asra refused to consider failure as an option.

**Author's Note:**

> Want to get updates on my writing? Come say hi on my social media. I’d love to hear from you! :)
> 
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> 


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